I want to walk on stilts...naked
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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