Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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