I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
