you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So vagazzling was a success
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
