I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
