I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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