dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
