He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
