Cold hands, warm shart.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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