Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Randomize
