We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
