You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
