I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
