I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
