Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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