I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
