you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
