Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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