i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
