My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
