You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
