I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
