You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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