Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
