why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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