I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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