I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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