the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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