i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize