shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
