Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
