My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
