I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The adults are the big ones right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
