She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
