I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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