I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just forgot I was standing up.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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