1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
