I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
