Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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