I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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