I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
