OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
