sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
