if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
