ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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