you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
