Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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