She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
