I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
