Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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