i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize