you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
