You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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