Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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