I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
