dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize