I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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