i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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