whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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