Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
