I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i out mim tonsoeep
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