dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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