I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
