New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
