Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
